Therapy & Mindfulness Services
I provide individual and couples therapy, mindful self-compassion training and parent therapy. I also provide community workshops, clinician/educator trainings and author speaks for education, library, and community settings.
Ontario, New Brunswick, & Nova Scotia Individual and Couple Therapy Services
Experienced Individual and Couple Therapy Services
Individual Therapy
Attachment-based Therapy
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou
In individual therapy, I support people to process difficult emotions in a compassionate space where they can attend to their painful feelings, and not be alone.
How we experience ourselves and our relationships in the present is shaped by what we learned in our earliest relationships. Our bodies and brains store memories of early experiences, creating patterns that deeply affect relationships and behaviours in adult life. Most often these patterns remain “implicit”, driving automatic reactions, often leading to pain and suffering.
In individual therapy I draw extensively upon DARe, an approach that helps us not only discover the source of those limiting patterns, but ultimately to heal them from within, so that they no longer get in the way of what we want for our lives.
Individual therapy is active and experiential, where we go into the felt sense of our experiences and learn what we truly needed and how we might meet those needs now, as well as imagining those needs being met back then. We will explore the attachment adaptations you developed in response to your early life circumstances, how they might be limiting you in the present, and what you need so that you can feel safe, take risks, explore, connect, and live the life you dream of.
Exciting advances in neuroscience and memory show that when we provide a new emotional experience in the present – while activating emotions from a painful memory – the painful memory changes, in a process called memory reconsolidation – an integral part of Emotion Focused Therapy. The new corrective experience gets assimilated into the old memory, transforming it for the better. This way of working demonstrates that it is never too late to have a happy childhood! Through this work, we can shift how we relate to others, and to ourselves, in the present.
“We are wounded in relationships, and we heal through relationships.” – Dr. Gabor Maté
Couple therapy provides an avenue to not only strengthen your relationship with your partner, but to heal old wounds that pre-date your relationship. In couple therapy, you work to become an expert on your partner, to learn how to take care of them when they are distressed, and for them to learn how to take care of you when you are distressed. You may not have experienced a sense of safety when you were younger, couple therapy is an exciting opportunity for partners to give each other in the present what they needed in the past; and to have more fun along the way.
The goal of couple therapy is to move partners towards ‘secure functioning’, where there is a sense of safety, fairness, justice, collaboration and cooperation; where we are partners are in each other’s care. You will learn what makes your partner feel threatened and how to bring them back to safety, and they will do likewise with you. When we feel unsafe in our relationship, nothing gets done.
Couple Therapy
In PACT, to uncover the root of the issues, what’s really going on, after all it is rarely about the toothpaste… or the finances… or the kids… or the dishwasher… I think you get the idea… When we feel safe and secure in our relationship, we can take on any and all challenges that arise inside our ‘couple bubble’, with more ease and less hurt. When we build a secure functioning relationship, we build each other up to better face together, whatever life throws our way.
PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy®) is an experiential therapy, where partners practice doing in session what you will be doing at home with each other. Developed by Stan Taktin, PACT comes out of exciting, cutting-edge research in three areas: neuroscience, attachment theory, and biology.
Understanding how the brain works provides a physiological basis for understanding how people act and react within relationships. In a nutshell, some areas of your brain are wired to reduce threat and danger and seek security, while others are geared to establish mutuality and loving connection.
Attachment theory explains the biological need to bond with others. Experiences in early relationships create a blueprint that informs the sense of safety and security you bring to adult relationships. Insecurities that have been carried through life can wreak havoc for a couple when these issues are not resolved.
The biology of human arousal—meaning the moment-to-moment ability to manage one’s energy, alertness, and readiness to engage likewise plays a key role in how well we handle our own stresses and those our partner may feel or bring to any interaction. (Thanks Alicen Halquist for this succent description of PACT)
Parent Therapy
“It’s not what happens, it’s what happens next.” – Dr. Joanne Dolhanty
I’ve never met a parent who doesn’t feel bad about something that they have done as a parent. We all want the best for our kids, but sometimes, something just seems to get in the way. It’s not that we’re not motivated, but we may not have the knowledge or experience to be the best parent we can be; often, it’s because we didn’t get that when we were children.
Good news! I’ve learned from both personal and professional experience that it is never too late to repair with our children – or our parents, even if they are no longer alive. People often say there is no parenting manual, but there sure is a lot of good information out there that can help us along the way. I work with parents who are looking for support with their children or adolescents as well as those who have a strained relationship with their adult children.
The approach I take with parents has been tried in my own home, and draws upon a rich body of evidence to support parents with their ‘children’; emotion-focussed family therapy (EFFT) and emotion-focussed skills training (EFST).
Specifically, we work on:
• Increasing your sense of parental self-efficacy by navigating emotion (gaining knowledge about and experience in working with emotions);
• Learning how our own emotions get the better of us in tricky parenting situations and what to do about it;
• Transforming relationships through apology and development of healthy boundaries.
Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging endeavours we may undertake. There is such pressure to “get it right,” and to ‘not repeat the mistakes of our parents.’ So much judgement is heaped upon us to boot, at times leaving us doubting our best parenting instincts. Finally, parenting can bring up old wounds from our own childhood.
Here’s where therapy can also help; to support you to attend to your old wounds so that they don’t dominate your feelings and actions in the present, when parenting your children.
In therapy, I support parents to take radical responsibility for how their behaviour may have led to pain or difficulty with their children. This process is not about blaming or condemning parents, but rather stepping fully into our role as a parent and lifting the burden of responsibility for their child to manage the situation. So many factors contribute to challenging parent-child relationships, including living in a cultural context that prioritizes work in wealth over families. Nonetheless, parents are still in the best position to support their children and transform our relationship. When parents do this work, old wounds can be tended to, loving boundaries can be established, and repairs can be made. I work with parents in this process – participation of children, whether young or adult, is not required because parents have the greatest impact on their relationship with their children.
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” – Chris Germer
Mindful self-compassion(MSC) is an empirically supported, eight-week training program designed to cultivate the skill of self-compassion. Based on the ground-breaking research of Kristin Neff and the clinical expertise of Christopher Germer, MSC teaches us how to treat ourselves with kindness, care, and understanding when we are struggling. Self-compassion can be learned by anyone. No previous mindfulness experience is required to participate in this course.
Upcoming Session: May 2-June 30 2024 – see my Workshop & Author Talks page for more information.
Practicing mindful self-compassion promotes emotional strength and resilience. It helps you to motivate yourself with kindness, forgive yourself and others when needed, and respond to difficult emotions.
Mindful Self Compassion Training
Learning to be more self-compassionate can reduce self-criticism, improve our ability to connect authentically with others and respond to our struggles with greater perspective.
In such a training course, you will learn how to:
* Practice self-compassion in daily life
* Apply mindfulness and self-compassion skills in difficult moments
* Motivate yourself with kindness rather than self-criticism
* Handle difficult emotions with greater ease
* Transform challenging relationships, old and new
* Manage caregiver fatigue
* Practice the art of savouring, gratitude and self-appreciation
Would you like to host a mindful self-compassion course for your workplace or organization? Contact Sara to discuss
Free Downloadable MSC Practices by Sara Marlowe
Compassion for Couples
“To relate, to love, to connect is to be human…” Michelle Becker, developer of Compassion for Couples (CfC)
As important as our relationships are, they are not always easy! Compassion for Couples (CfC) is a program designed to help us meet ourselves and our partner with greater awareness and compassion. CfC builds on the skills developed in the Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program and moves deeper into compassion between partners. Utilizing the skills of mindfulness and compassion, this program teaches how to build a strong and healthy foundation for relationships, and provides skills to help navigate the difficulties that arise within us and between us. While prior experience with MSC is helpful, it is not required.
Even if you and your partner already practice mindfulness and compassion, you might have noticed that it’s not always easy to do that in the context of your relationship. Perhaps you are in committed relationship in which you are experiencing some challenges; and you want to feel more connected, secure and at ease with each other.
Or, you’re in a committed relationship that’s already well connected, and you want to safeguard and strengthen your connection so that it lasts well into the future. Compassion for Couples is a wonderful opportunity for you and your partner to build a strong and healthy foundation for your relationship and develop the skills to help navigate the difficulties that arise within us and between us. CfC is a psycho-educational program, and is not a substation for couple therapy when indicated. Each couple with have a brief consult to assess suitability for the course.
Mindfulness can help to reduce stress, to respond to and care for strong feelings such as worry, anger, fear & frustration, and ultimately, foster connection in today’s hectic households.
Sara will provide engaging and age-appropriate information about the brain, and how to utilize this knowledge to support our children (and ourselves as parents) in challenging moments. The Breathe In & Shine program provides a fun, creative, and developmentally appropriate way to plant seeds of mindfulness and compassion with children (and their caregivers)- seeds that can be cultivated throughout a lifetime.
Included in the course program is a follow along practice booklet, downloadable audio guided mindfulness and compassion practices, as well as a PDF of the Inside Flashlight by Sara Marlowe. A hard copy of the limited-edition Mindful Monkey magazine will also be included (while supplies last).
Mindfulness For Children & Families
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things.” Robert Brault
Breathe In & Shine: A Mindfulness Program for Children and Families
Are you interested in bringing mindfulness and compassion into your family?
Sara is currently adapting her popular 6-session mindfulness program to an online, self-paced program for children and families. Check back or email Sara for updates.
In this 6-session, self-paced program, Sara will teach child-friendly mindfulness and self-compassion practices for children and families to practice together. Mindfulness practices include games, stories, art activities and everyday mindful awareness practices.
Mindfulness can help to reduce stress, to respond to and care for strong feelings such as worry, anger, fear & frustration, and ultimately, foster connection in today’s hectic households.
Sara will provide engaging and age-appropriate information about the brain, and how to utilize this knowledge to support our children (and ourselves as parents) in challenging moments. The Breathe In & Shine program provides a fun, creative, and developmentally appropriate way to plant seeds of mindfulness and compassion with children (and their caregivers)- seeds that can be cultivated throughout a lifetime.
Included in the course program is a follow along practice booklet, downloadable audio guided mindfulness and compassion practices, as well as a PDF of the Inside Flashlight by Sara Marlowe. A hard copy of the limited-edition Mindful Monkey magazine will also be included (while supplies last).