We Can Relate

Therapy Books & Resources

Books & Resources

“Happily ever after is not by chance. It’s by choice.”

– John Gottman

Books

Available at all major bookstores. 

Mental Health, Relationship, Couple Therapy Books & Resources

Mindfulness Children's Books By Author Sara Marlowe

On an otherwise ordinary day, Elliot discovers something extraordinary: the power of mindfulness. When he asks his neighbor Carmen for a snack, he’s at first disappointed when she hands him an apple—he wanted candy! But when encouraged to carefully and attentively look, feel, smell, taste, and even listen to the apple, Elliot discovers that this apple is not ordinary at all.

Lushly and humorously illustrated, No Ordinary Apple makes a traditional technique for training mindfulness a fun and enjoyable way for children to learn to slow down and appreciate even the simplest things.

“Deliciously fun to read.”—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness

“I have a new best friend. I’ve known her my whole life, but we only just became friends.”

When people we care about are having a hard time, we usually treat them with kindness and understanding—yet when we are the ones having a hard time, we are often quick to be unkind. We may get angry and impatient with ourselves, even calling ourselves nasty names. My New Best Friend invites children to break free of this pattern of “inner bullying,” helping them treat themselves with kindness and understanding—laying the groundwork for emotional resilience, self-compassion, and positive self-esteem.

“This is an absolutely delightful book that perfectly delivers the message of self-compassion in a way that is fun and easy to understand for kids. Parents who buy this book for their children will be giving them a gift to last a lifetime!”

—Kristin Neff, Ph.D, author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

This is no ordinary pizza! Join Elliot and his friends as they make a pizza unlike any they’ve tasted before and then learn how they’re actually eating a meal with the whole planet!

Elliot and his friends celebrate the last day of school, but this is not your average pizza party. His caregiver, Carmen, shows them how to slow down and mindfully eat the pizza they’ve made and, in doing so, taste a pizza like none they’ve ever had before. The kids are amazed to see how each and every ingredient connects them to the whole planet—a joyful web of farmers, bees, cows, and sunshine.

In this follow-up to No Ordinary Apple: A Story About Eating Mindfully, children will encounter not only a yummy way to be calm and present but also a fun, new way to cultivate compassion and gratitude for everyone and everything we are connected to—through the very food we eat!

“No Ordinary Pizza is a fun book with diverse characters and a story that is told in a way that brings mindfulness to life! It is a brightly illustrated story for children about the interconnectedness of the world. A gift for any age!”

—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Change

Trouble finds Harriet. Everywhere. Trouble always seems to get the better of her, leading to knee-jerk reactions that just lead to more trouble! That is, until a schoolmate gives her an inside flashlight. This flashlight teaches Harriet to look inside; to observe her thoughts, feelings and body sensations before trouble takes over. By naming her feelings, she is able to slow down her reactions, tame them, and make better choices.

Dr Dan Siegal, Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, coined the phrase ‘name it to tame it’, meaning that by putting words to our emotions, and naming what we are feeling, we reduce the intensity of the emotion, and can feel less overwhelmed. When we are less overwhelmed, we have more access to our prefrontal cortex (the thinking part of our brain), which enables us to pause and think before responding.

In the Inside Flashlight, by practicing the skill of ‘name it to tame it,’ Harriet is able to make more intentional choices, and ultimately have more fun. The Inside Flashlight is a playful way to plant the seeds of this invaluable, life-long resource with children.

Collaborative Therapy and Neurobiology is the book many clinicians have been waiting for: an integration of twenty years of scientific and therapeutic cutting-edge ideas into concrete clinical practices. Interpersonal neurobiology and the development of exciting new technologies that allow us to better understand the brain have provided us with an enriched perspective on human experience. Yet, many clinicians wonder how to use this knowledge, and how these discoveries can actually benefit their clients. In particular, what are the concrete practices that each field uses to help clients overcome the issues in their lives, and how can these fields build on each other’s ideas? Could minimally developed concepts in each field be combined into innovative and powerful practices to foster client wellbeing? This book offers a collection of writings which provide theoretical food for thought, research evidence, and most importantly hands-on, concrete clinical ideas to enrich therapists’ work with a variety of clients. Illustrated with numerous transcripts of conversations and clinical stories, the ideas in this book will stimulate the work of people interested in renewing their practice with new ideas.

Mindful Monkey Magazine

Connecting families through practice and play

A unique magazine exploring mindfulness themes through articles for parents, stories for children and activities for the whole family. Created by Melanie Viglas, PhD & Sara Marlowe, MSW.

We know how precious and rewarding it is to care for a young child. We also know how vulnerable, challenging and stressful caring for a young child can sometimes be. Life is busy. With its many competing demands, we understand that it can be difficult to really connect with those we hold dear and who need us the most.

If you want to enhance and grow your relationship with a young child and you are curious about how practicing mindfulness can benefit your family, you’re in the right place!

We created Mindful Monkey Magazine to provide a foundation for bringing presence, mindfulness practice, and connection into your busy lives in a fun and simple way. Inside you will find some pages for parents, some pages for children and some pages for parents and children to explore together.

In this inaugural issue, we explore Presence. You and your child will learn how Presence relates to mindfulness, as well as how it helps us connect to ourselves and to others. We share a children’s story called ‘Moxie’s Monkey Mind’ where Pobs teaches Moxie a simple mindfulness practice for you and your child to try. It’s as simple and as fun as swinging up and down on a see saw! 

With colouring pages, mindfulness activities, and spaces for reflection, Mindful Monkey Magazine will be a treasured keepsake for your family to look back on when your little monkey is not so little anymore.

Cover of "Mindful Monkey Magazine"
Young girl holding magazine that reads "In this moment...where is your monkey mind?"
Parent and child reading a magazine together
2 paintings styled as Polaroid photos that show monkeys named "Pobs" and "Moxie"
painting of monkeys and other animals
array of drawings of monkeys
drawing of 2 monkeys riding a seesaw

Resources

Gabor Mate:
• The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture
• When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress
• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction
• Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder

Dianne Poole Heller
• The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships

Rick Hanson: Co-host of Rick Hanson: Being Well podcast 
• Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence
• Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness
• Making Great Relationships: Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love
• Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time
Free guided mindfulness exercises 

Amir Levine and Rachel Heller:
• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep–Love

Mark Wolynn:
• It Didn’t Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Christopher Germer & Kristin Neff 
• The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive
Free guided mindful self-compassion practices

Aman Kwatra, Ladislav Timulak, Sharon Lu Huixian, Ciara Joyce, Mary Creaner:
• Transforming Emotional Pain: An Emotion-Focused Workbook

Jonice Webb: 
• Running on Empty: Overcome your Childhood Emotional Neglect
• Running on Empty: Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children

 

Videos about Emotion:

Alfred and Shadow: A short story about emotions 
Alfred and Shadow: A short story about Self-criticism 
Alfred and Shadow: A short story about loneliness

Recommended Books:

Stan Tatkin: 
• In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them
• Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain & Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict & Build a Secure Relationship
• Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
• We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love
• Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents by Karen Hoppe & Stan Tatkin
Relationship Rx  audio course by Stan Tatkin: Insights and Practices to Overcome Chronic Fighting and Return to Love

Resmaa Menakem: 
• Monsters in Love: Why Your Partner Sometimes Drives You Crazy–and What You Can Do About It

Terry Real: 
• Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

John Gottman: 
• What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal

Sexuality:

Emily Nagoski:
• Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life
• Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily

Laurie Mintz: 
• Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters – And How to Get It

Ian Kerner: 
• So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives
• She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
• Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasuring a Man

Aha Parenting My go-to website for all questions parenting-related

Mental Health Foundations:  Print and video resources for caregivers

Neufeld Institute: 
Recommended Books: Child development and parenting resoures focused on relationship

Joanne Dolhanty: 
• Emotion Focused Skills Training for Parents – A Guide For Clinicians
• Angry Kids, Angry Parents: Understanding and Working with Anger in Your Family

Laura Markham: 
• Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting
• Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life

Deborah MacNamara: 
• Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One)

Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson : 
• The Whole Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive
• No Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind
• The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child

Adele Lafrance and Ashley P. Miller: 
• What to Say to Kids When Nothing Seems to Work: A Practical Guide for Parents and Caregivers

Crisis & Emergency Support:

If you are at risk of harm, please call 911 immediately and help will come to you. Otherwise, please visit your nearest hospital emergency department to receive immediate attention.

Canada:

National Suicide Prevention Line: CALL TOLL FREE 1-833-456-4566 (Available 24/7)
TEXT 45645 (Available Daily 4pm-12am ET)

Thinking about Suicide:
A website with information about how to support your family member and safety plan, as well as additional crisis resources.

Kids Help Phone:
With Kids Help Phone’s texting service, you can chat with a trained, volunteer crisis responder for support any time, about anything, via text message. 686868 or call 1-800-668-6868
Our texting service is free and available across Canada 24/7. You don’t need a data plan, Internet connection or an app to use it. Your texting conversation with a crisis responder is confidential.

One Stop Talk: 
You can instantly connect with a registered therapist and co-develop a plan together to move forward and feel better. Our free service provides immediate access to mental health services, when they’re needed, wherever they’re needed. We provide culturally safe and appropriate support to every corner of the province. Our certified therapists’ experiences and backgrounds are as diverse as the communities they support. 

LGBT Youthline: 647-694-4275
Confidential, Non-judgemental & Informed 2SLGBTQ+ Peer Support. Service is open Sunday – Friday for text and chat. We provide support in English. Hours are: Text: 4 PM – 9:30 PM, at 647-694-4275, Chat: 4 PM – 9:30 PM – Click the Chat button at the top of the website, E-mail: [email protected]

Translifeline: 1-877-330-6366
Trans Lifeline is a grassroots hotline and microgrants 501(c)(3) non-profit organization offering direct emotional and financial support to trans people in crisis – for the trans community, by the trans community. 

Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 1-866-863-0511 or #SAFE (#7233)  on your Bell, Rogers, Fido, Telus mobile
The Assaulted Women’s Helpline provides crisis counselling, safety planning, emotional support, information, and referrals 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year on our telephone and TTY crisis line. Our free, confidential, and anonymous support is available in 200+ languages

Toronto:
The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)
Crisis Line: 416-535-8501 ext 6885
Location: 250 College Street (north-east corner at College and Spadina), Toronto, Ontario.

The Hospital for Sick Children – Psychiatric Emergency Crisis Service
Tel: 416-813-7005
• Monday-Sunday 8 am-11 pm
• telephone consultation for children at imminent risk of harm to themselves or others
• ongoing risk assessment
• crisis service — initial assessment through the Emergency Department

The Gerstein Centre
Provides crisis intervention to adults, living in the City of Toronto, who experience mental health problems. The Centre provides supportive counselling for immediate, crisis issues and referrals to other services for on-going, non-crisis issues. This service is a community mental health service and is non-medical. Crisis calls of a medical nature (psychiatric assessment, severe self-harm or suicide attempts) are referred to a hospital. The service has three aspects, telephone support, community visits and a ten- bed, short-stay residence. All three aspects of the service are accessed through the crisis line, (416) 929-5200. It is preferred that anyone wishing to use the Centre’s service call the crisis line personally.

Distress Centres of Toronto
Telephone response to persons in need of immediate emotional support, crisis intervention or suicide prevention.
Crisis Phone: 416-408-4357 ; 416-408-HELP
Distress Centres of Toronto
Ontario:

Distress & Crisis Ontario 
Distress Centres (DCs) across Ontario offer real-time support and a variety of other services that address the needs of their communities.

Nova Scotia:

Provincial Mental Health and Addictions Crisis Line 
1-888-429-8167 The Provincial Mental Health and Addictions Crisis Line provides crisis intervention for children, youth and adults experiencing a mental health crisis or mental distress. The service is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to support callers who present with suicidal thoughts, self-harming thoughts or behaviors, overwhelming anxiety, difficulty coping with distress, psychotic or distorted thinking, depression, substance use difficulties or any other self-identified mental health concerns. Crisis is self-defined by the individual calling for support.

Mental Health Mobile Crisis Team [MHMCT]902-429-8167 or 1-888-429-8167 (Toll free)

Provides crisis support and intervention for children, youth, and adults experiencing an immediate mental health crisis, including thoughts of suicide.
Available 24/7

New Brunswick:

Addiction and Mental Health Helpline: 1-866-355-5550

Available 24/7. Safe and non-judgmental space to talk. Resources to help and referrals to healthcare providers for individualized treatment. In case of emergency, call 9-1-1

eMentalHealth.ca: Crisis Lines (telephone, text and online chat)

Mobile Crisis Unit: (see website for phone number for your location in NB)

Addiction and mental health social workers and/or nurses provide timely and well-coordinated responses to people who are experiencing a mental health crisis and who require assessment or intervention in the community. Mobile Crisis Units provide interventions to defuse situations in the community to individuals and families outside of the usual hours of operations including evenings and weekends. Assessment and crisis intervention occur in the person’s own environment or the environment of their choice.

Alberta:

Mental Health Help Line: Alberta wide. 1-877-303-2642 (Toll free) 

The Alberta Health Services Mental Health Help Line is a 24 hour, 7 day a week, 365 days a year, confidential service that provides support, information and referrals to Albertans experiencing mental health concerns.

The line is staffed by a multidisciplinary team comprised of nurses, psychiatric nurses, social workers, occupational therapists, and psychologists. The service provides:

  • crisis support
  • mental health or addiction screening and assessment over the phone
  • general information about a mental health or addiction topic
  • information about local service options for addiction or mental health and how to access them
  • strategies people can use at home to support their emotional well-being

Free Downloadable Resources

Young girl in pink toque with the text "mindfulness practices for school-aged children" overlaid

Twelve playful, child-friendly mindfulness practices to support children to ride the waves of emotion with kindness and compassion. After all, “we can’t stop the waves, but we can learn to surf.

Two people holding hands with the text "fighting well with the one you love: 10 tips to better manage conflict" overlaid

Based on the innovative work of Dr. Stan Tatkin, this handout offers 10 tips for partners to navigate conflict more effectively, upholding this key principle: You are in Each Others Care. At All Times. Full Stop. (Yes, even when fighting).

Emotion-focused Family Therapy (EFFT) offers great tools to help our children get better at feeling. Here is some info about how emotions work, what they need and how we can support our children to ride the waves of their big emotions.

Cover of "The Inside Flashlight"

For a limited time, email Sara to request a FREE PDF of ‘The Inside Flashlight’; a story that teaches children (and adults alike) to name and respond to their big feelings with compassion. As Dr. Dan Siegel says, When we name it, we can tame it.

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